Inner Negotiations: How To Beat The Voice Of Resistance In Your Head

Think back to school….

How many times have you ended up waiting until the absolute last minute to get your assignment done? Or cram your studying in? 

How many all nighters for projects or final exams? 

It’s incredible what the mind can do off caffeine. 

This was where it all started for our behavior of procrastination. One of the major problems is it could almost pay off enough. 

You could sneak in a 65-75% with 10% commitment of time efficiency. 

But when you did take your time to prepare well in advance, not only did you actually get better marks, but you actually learned things that suck with you right? 

Now procrastination hurts so much more. 

You feel behind everyone in life. 

This unfortunate habit we established as kids created a dangerous routine. 

We avoid things are uncomfortable with until we absolutely have to do them. 

Go to that moment you had when you were suppose to be studying…and you turned on TV instead. 

It’s like TV felt even more engaging. A show you’ve seen 10x was even funnier. It’s like eating candy on a diet. It’s just sweeter. 

Then you decided to clean your room…

But think of that moment right before you decided to sit down and get work done. 

What’s that feel like? It’s uncomfortable right? Like you’re repelled and feeling resistance in your whole body, right? 

Now fast forward to this last week. Remember when that happened recently? 

Now all you have to do is open up you phone and your thumb just finds Instagram and you didn’t even make that decision consciously. 

Literally just happens. 

Great sign you’re literally in the procrastination zone. 

Instant gratification is sooooo much easier than doing the tough comfortable stuff. 

So it seems at first. 

But really it’s more about the decision than it is the work. This is where you can shift your paradigm. 

It’s been so pivotal for me to recognize the feeling and voice of resistance. 

Steven Pressfield has an incredible book, I have to encourage, called “The War Of Art”

In it, he describes so poetically the voice of resistance being the key to unlocking humans true artist from within. 

Think about your greatest accomplishments…Was there not a voice of resistance prior? Making you scared? Making you hesitate? 

It’s our self preservation talking, trying to look for the easiest route possible. 

Without human’s instinct to make things easier we wouldn’t have evolve. 

However, it becomes a huge problem with your ability to challenge yourself when you instinct is to ONLY find the easier way to do things. 

Major thing to realize is that this moment will always happen but how you handle it can shift. 

By that I mean, you will always have moments in life, when you get a feeling, you want to get out of hard work, and you’ll find things to distract you, to pull you away from the major thing you know you should get done but in time you can learn to walk right through it. 

Here’s an analogy to think of. 

You’re standing outside a lake in the morning. You think the water is cold. You’re suppose to jump in and go swimming, but you fear this cold. You dip your toe, and you feel it a bit. You shiver and think “Oh this is going to suck.” 

Now imagine you can walk down the ladder and go it step by step and feel the temperature gradually or dive in headfirst. 

I’m personally a dive in headfirst guy because I love what happens next. 

You dive in - Within 1 second your whole body is covered in cooler water. Your nervous system is so quick to react, it very quickly shoots more heat to the extremities and balances your whole body out. You still feel cold for about 20-40s but by the minute is done and you’re swimming you feel “wow this is really remeshing! It’s not even cold!”

This is the human experience of adaptation. 

This is you diving into the task you procrastinate. 

Let’s say you practice diving into that pond every day now. That 10-minute delay turns into 8, then 6, then 3, then 0. 

Now come back to your life. 

How many times does something similar happen while you’re at work or in life? 

The problem isn’t the task, because once you’re in it, you adapt to it, and the discomfort isn’t there. 

There is ironically more discomfort thinking about starting work, then even doing it. 

Now again think about putting in reps every day at work…You feel the urge to not do something…That’s you sign to jump into it. 

Every time you come out of a task after, like a cool swim, damn you feel refreshed and accomplished. 

It’s important to look at your language as well. 

Is there a negotiation going on? 

This is great sign you’re already waiting too long. 

If what you’re suggesting to yourself requires justification for what you about to avoid doing, you’re probably wrong. 

The correction action didn’t require justification. You knew it was right in the first place. 

Use this term – Non-Negotiable. 

It was such a potent term I got from my business coach Gavin McHale. He just stated is so simply “What’s your non-negotiable?” And then it clicked. 

Don’t let yourself even have a chance of a decision to avoid the work you know should get done. 

And you feel you’re resisting, that’s the sign to dive in. 

I must tell you from this last year, I’ve done just that. And I feel truly like comparing my skill to lean into this now, is like comparing my bench press at 14 years old, which wasn’t even 100lbs, to now, which is over 330lbs. 

I’m NOT saying I don’t procrastinate. I procrastinated before I wrote this. Twice. 

I procrastinated probably 3-4 times today. 

But I learned to recognize when I am and lean into it. I learned that the hesitation is way more uncomfortable than the work. 

So, try this out this week. Pick your top procrastination task and lean into it, while you ensure you call it “Non-negotiable.” 

And remember, just like reps of strength training, you will get stronger and resisting your own mind.